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 Secrets Of The Heart

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PostSubject: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Feb 15, 2008 2:47 pm

My head is killing me....

Marshall was lying on his bed incompasitated as usual. It was if he'd given up on life. His room was damn near pitch black, the way he liked it. He'd been alone in his huge mansion for days. He'd left his wife for awhile & wanted to start over, but he didn't know where to begin. He knew he had a problem, but he didn't know how to address it. He suddenly heard his house phone ring & he sighed. He reached over to his nightstand & grabbed the receiver.

"Hello?" he grumbled.

"Get up." he heard a familar voice reply. As usual it was his best friend, DeShaun, trying to motivate him to leave the bed. He knew his best friend had been in a rut as of late & he was going to break him out of it.

"Not a chance." he sighed as he closed his eyes.

"We're goin' out in an hour, so you gotta get up." Shaun replied.

"What? Shaun you know..."

"I know you keep makin' an exscuse to stay home, but not today." Shaun replied sturnly. "I'm on my way over, be ready." Shaun said hanging up.

'Fuck...he's really coming....'

Marshall struggled to sit up. He ran his hannd through his soft hair. He looked over at his digital clock & it read 7:45 p.m. He'd practically been in bed all day. He yawned as he got up & headed for the bathroom. He flipped the light on & went in. He yawned once more as he stared at himself in the mirror.

I'm really not in the mood to hit a club, look at me...I look terrbile.

His hair was it's natural dark brown color, because he hadn't bleached it in forever & it was high. He wasn't in the best shape either, he'd gained about 20 to 25 pounds. His once rock hard abs, were now gone. His face was scruffy because his goatee had sorta grown in. He looked awful.

I can't go out like this....Shit, Shaun's gonna make me. Atleast no one will notice me, I hope. God...I just wish......

He sighed as he turned on the shower & got undressed. He was taking a break from touring & things weren't goin' so good. He knew it was catching up to him, but he was in denial. He stepped into the shower & began to wash as he heard the phone ring again. He ignored it & finished getting ready.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 Hour Later:

Marshall tightend the wave cap over his head & sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. He placed hit red fitted over it & felt disgusted as he heard the doorbell ring.

He was glad to hear it, so he jetted out of the bathroom & down the stairs. He opened the door & saw DeShaun standing there.

"Well, look who's ready. See, that's the Em I know." Shaun replied.

"No...the only reason I got ready was because I didn't feel like arguing with you."

"Whatever the case, we're goin' out before the tour comes back." Shaun smiled & Marshall sighed. "To be honest I don't really feel like....."

"Doesn't matter. Let's go." Shaun said pulling him outside & closing the door.

The ride to the club was torture for Marshall. All of his friends, Shaun, Swift, Bizzy, Kon & Kuniva were jokin' in the limo the whole ride. With Marshall's splitting headache, it wasn't helping. They pulled up to the club & got out. They were ushered into the V.I.P. section & Marshall sat & watched as the rest of the guys got up one by one & danced.

'God, I wish I were home...'

Marshall's hand began to tremble & he sighed. He wasn't up for whatever they had in mind for him.

'I need a drink...' He got up & headed toward the bar. The music was thumping & everyone was grinding to it. The music was so loud that he could feel it in his chest. He slipped through the crowd as desretly as possible. He finnaly made it to the bar & ordered a shot of tequila. He downed it & ordered 3 more before ordering a beer.

"Thanks!!" he yelled over the loud music as he slammed the money on the counter. He turned around & bumped into a young woman, spilling his drink all over her.

'Oh fuck...'

"Can you please watch where you're goin?!!" the young female yelled angrily because he'd ruined her new dress.
"Sorry...." he said staring at her as she grabbed a napkin & dabbed her dress.
"God...are you blind?" she asked furious.
"I said I was sorry." he snapped because he wasn't up for an argument.
"Buy me a drink & we call it even." she said trying to bargain with him.

"Fine." he sighed as he hustled over to the bar & she followed.
"Let me get a....." he started as he turned around & looked at her.
"Alize..." she said still trying to dry her dress.
"Alize." he replied to the bar tender. He sighed as he looked around from under his hood. 'I really don't want anyone recognizing me.' he thought as the bar tender handed him the drink.

"Here you go." he said handing it to her.
"Thanks." she said grabbing it & she began to sip it through the straw.
"Do you come to these all the time?" she asked before he walked off.
"Uhh...I guess you can say so." he said keeping his head down.
"You see , that's why you bumped into me. You need to watch what's infront of you." she snapped as she sipped more of her drink. He stared at her & she was a vision that he hadn't seen in awhile.

She was gorgeous. She had long, black, glossy hair & she was slender, but built in the right places.
'This bitch is really irkin' my nerves.' his mind growled as he stared up at her. "You obviously don't know who I am." he said cockily.
"Uh..yeah I do & that doesn't mean you have the right to do whatever you want."
"You know what? I hope you like you're drink...." he said storming off. "Bitch."

"Rude fucker..." she growled under her breath as she looked around for her friend. She suddenly saw a fight break out & guns were drawn. Things were happening so quickily. Everyone was scurrying & someone bumped into her, it was Marshall. They heard gunfire ring out & ran toward the back door. Marshall got outside & hesitated for a second, he was looking for his friends.

'Fuck....that's my only ride.' he thought.Wind was ripping passed him & he shivered. The girl saw he obviously didn't have a ride.
"Come on!!" she yelled as more people came outside.
"what?" he asked. "If you wanna stick around here, that's fine!!" she said running to her car & hopping in. He ran over to her car& hopped into the passenger seat as they heard sirens heading toward the club.

The girl pulled off & she took off down the street.
'God....I hope this bitch ain't crazy.' he thought as he turned to her & she wizzed around a couple of corners. She got on a freeway & slowed down a bit.
"You wanna listen to some music?" she asked looking over to him quickily, then looking back at the road. She had a nice new car, it was an dark blue Nissan '07. "Yeah.." he said softly looking out of his window. They sat quietly for a couple of minutes. Marshall was of course paranoid.
"Do you talk?" she asked breaking the dead silence.
"Yeah." he said pressing a button & the window came down.
"It is kinda cold." she said as the cold wind ripped into her face.
"I'm hot." he said, not looking at her.

It was late out & the sky was a dark blue color. It was lit up by the stars & moon. He stared up at them & said nothing as the wind still ripped through the car. "Can you roll that up?" she asked agitated.
"No." he said. She sighed angrily & pressed a button. His window rolled up & he got angry. "That's better." she smiled. He sighed angrily & rolled the window back down. "What are you doing?!" she yelled as she looked over to him briefly. "I need air!!" he growled back as he looked over at her.
"Tough!!" she yelled as she rolled it back up.
"Don't touch this window again!" he snapped as he rolled it back down.
"You're like a child." she snapped as she rolled it up & pressed another button.
He tried to roll the window back down, but it didn't budge.
"Turn the fuckin' lock off!!" he yelled ash e looked at her.
"No." she chuckled. "Why do you have to be such a bitch?!!"
"What?!!" she yelled offended.
"You heard me." he growled. She pulled over to the side of the rode & unlocked the door. "Get out!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.
"Are you kiddin' me? Were onthe fuckin' highway."
"I could care less. Get the fuck outta my car." she snapped. He just stared at her. 'I hope she don't think I'm gettin' out of this car.' he thought.
PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS queen
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Zoe



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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Feb 16, 2008 9:52 am

I’m so happy you made this site. Razz
What a great start of the story. Drama from the beginning. I love it. Very Happy Marshall is a struggling character, which is good cause it leaves lots of place for the future character development. Alize is quite bold woman with an attitude. I like it. Please post more!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:02 pm

I'll hopefully update this tommorow queen
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Tue Feb 19, 2008 1:35 am

"I'm not kidding." Cyndi replied, looking over to him with a little wrinkle over her nose. He just stared at her like she was fuckin' nuts.
"I'm not getting outta this car." he said stubbornly as he stared her in the eyes.
"Fine..." she said taking the keys outta the ignition. "Then we'll stay here all night."
"You've gotta be kidding me." he grumbled as he kept his eyes on her.
"Nope. You're a rude fuckin' person." "Me?" he scoffed with a smile of sarcasm. "Yes, you." she said sitting back.

"Look, I'm sorry for calling you a bitch." he sighed sincere. He knew he'd blown up at her because he was looking for someone to unload his problems on. She seemed like a nice enough girl, she didn't kiss his ass just because he was a top rapper & he knew most girls would. She was even generous enough to give him a ride after their little bar spat, even though she had a mouth on her.
"I just had a rough day." It was more like a year, but he wans't gonna say that to a stranger.

"I accept your apology." she said sticking the key in the ignition.
"But you need to work on your mannerism." she said starting the car & pulling off. He stared out of his window as she pulled back onto the highway as she rolled his window down. He smiled slightly as the cool night air hit his face. The ride was quiet, she concentrated on the road & he stared at the car zoom down the highway. His mind was wandering & it showed on his face. Cyndi stared over at him briefly, then back at the road.
"So..where are we going?" she asked & he sorta jumped as he turned to look at her. "Sorry...." he said as his cell phone rang.

He reached in his pocket & pulled out his black 'Motorola' cell phone.
"Yo?" he asked flipping it open & putting it to his ear.
"Is that how you answer the phone now?" he heard Kim's nagging voice reply on the other end. He sighed & rolled his eyes as he slumped in the car's seat.
"What do you want?" he mumbled, he really hadn't felt like talking to her at that moment. He'd been dodging her calls for the few days that he was gone.
"How 'bout my husband home with me & his children."
"I can't..." he said regretfully. "Why haven't you answered your phone." "Kim...I need to think about some things."

"I'm sure you do. I bet you're fuckin' someone aren't you?!" she screamed & Cyndi heard her. That's how loud she was.
"Oh wait..I forgot you can't get it up. You're a loser." she snapped sarcastically & he frowned as she shred more of his heart. He was already broken & she knew that, so she dragged him more through the mud.
"I swear to God, if you even think about leaving me, I will make you life a living HELL do you hear me?!!"
"Don't threaten me...." "Fuck you. I own you & after I'm done ripping what's left of your pathetic life to shreds, no girl will ever want you again." she said & he could tell by her tone that she was smiling.

"Good job on making your kids hate you too. All we wanna do is love you Marshall & all you can do is take off. I'm gonna give you one more chance to come home & fix things. Don't fuck up." she said hanging up & he sat devestaed.
Cyndi stared over to him as he closed his phone & clenched it in his hands. Unfortunately, she'd heard what Kim had said. he just sat with puppy dog eyes as he choked back his tears. His depression was obviously bad & she'd made it worse. Cyndi hesitated to say anything, but she had to know where they were going. His cell phone rang, but he just ignored it. He was crushed. "Where do you want me to take you?"
"Home..." he mumbled. "You can take me home."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cyndi parked infrot of his house & looked at it astonished. It was huge.
"Thanks..." he said as he went to open his door.
"Your welcome....um....wait." she said & he stopped & looked at her. She was jotting something down on paper.
"Take my number." she said handing it to him. "call me if you wanna talk."
"He scoffed as he got outta the car & slammed her door. He crumbled the paper in his hand as she pulled off & he went inside the house.

His cell phone rang once more, so he sat it on the table by the door. That was the 25th time it rang since Kim called. He slowly jotted up the stairs as his head raced with what Kim had said to him. It just echoed.
Good job on making your kids hate you...all we wanna do is love you....and all you can do is run away...
He took his sweat jacket off as he entered his bedroom & flipped on the light. He looked around at the filth & grimaced at how he was turning out. He was reminding himself of his mom.

Beer bottles & cloothes lying everywhere...it was disgusting. He felt wothless.
He threw his jacket on the bed & went into the bathroom. He stared at himself to see what he had become & he frowned. He was red faced & overweight...somethin' he hadn't been since he could remember. He ripped the hat & wave cap off, only to toss it to the bathroom floor. He was displeased with himself. He was redfaced & not only that he'd broken out with freckles & pimples.
What happend to me? It wasn't suppose to be like this...
He opened the cabinet & saw 5 different perscription bottles. He grabbed one & closed the cabinet back.

LEAVE COMMENTS PLEASE queen
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:30 pm

Poor Marshall. I feel sorry for him. Life is hard for him and Kim doesn’t make it any easier for him. She sounds like a typical selfish girlfriend who wants him home only for her own sneaky motives. At least he met someone new. It might be promising. He’s in a big mess right so any potential friend is good. Let's just hope she'll be able to deal with his misery.
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:38 pm

This is sutch a great story!
Keep up the good work, I want to read an update Very Happy lol
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Wed Feb 18, 2009 4:45 pm

Marshall opened his eyes and groaned because this had been yet another day he'd been woken from his stooper at the sound of a ringing phone. He wanted the noise to stop, but his cell phone just continued to ring annoyingly. He rolled over, only to fall to the carpeted floor, which was still hard.
"Fuck!!" he shouted as he saw his black Motorola lying beside him. He sneered at it as if it would hurt it's feelings. His head was pounding to no end and all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball on the bed. Underneath the covers and away from the world. He had half the mind to grab the cell phone and chuck it across the room. He instead grabbed it & flipped it open.
"Who the fuck is this?!" he shouted hoping the person on the line would hang up, but no luck.
"It's Shaun man, damn. You need to get to ya ass up right now."

"Shaun, I'm not in tha mood. I'll call you later." "No you're not. Man, what's goin' on wit' you?"
Marshall sighed defeated because he was goin' through something and he couldn't let anyone in. Not even his best friend and he wasn't talking about his wife. The male on the phone had been there for him through thick and thin, even when he had fall outs with any girl. Kim in paticular though. He couldn't let her go And though he'd liked to think it was pure love,it wasn't. She had his daughter. He did have love for her, but he wasn't head over hills in love with her. He hadn't been in love with anyone for a long time. He was in love with one person after her, but he would never admit it outside of his own mind. But that was different story.
"Nuthin'" he replied trying to brush the subject off as easily as possible, but he knew that wasn't gonna be the case with Shaun. He never backed down and that's how Marshall knew he was his best friend.

"Nothin'? Who do you think you're lyin' to?" Shaun nearly chuckled. "Man, come on. You moved outta the house you lived in wit' ya new wife & kids and you don't call anyone. Not even Hailie. Somethin's up."
"Don't bring my litt... don't bring her up ok?" Marshall said as if he'd struck a cord, which meant he most likely did. Marshall hated when pepole brought Hailie into anything dealing with his fucked up life.
"Then tell me what's goin' on."
They sat silent for awhile and Shaun knew he wasn't gonna answer the question. Somethin' serious was eatin' at him. After canceling the tour & goin' to rehab, it seemed like a switch went off in Marshall. He could tell a change even while they were on tour. Somethin' was up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have to update in about 30 minutes...sorry...I have to jet out really quick.


Last edited by Admin on Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:34 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:30 pm

1 word amazingggg I love you I love you I love you I love you lol! lol! afro
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Mar 09, 2009 10:26 am

shadyslady wrote:
1 word amazingggg I love you I love you I love you I love you lol! lol! afro
I will update this story today!! Twisted Evil
Let me know if u want me 2. lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Mar 09, 2009 10:27 am

Miley wrote:
This is sutch a great story!
Keep up the good work, I want to read an update Very Happy lol
Hey, r u still into me updatin' this one? scratch queen
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Mar 14, 2009 9:28 am

I really like this one. Please keep updating. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Mar 14, 2009 10:05 am

Zoe wrote:
I really like this one. Please keep updating. Very Happy
Kool Zoe. I missed ya. I'll udate 2day just 4 u. queen Wink
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Mar 14, 2009 12:00 pm

"Look, I'm comin' over there right now & me & you are gonna..."
"No, you're not!!" Marshall yelled into his tiny Motorola. "Why can't I just be alone for a fuckin' while?!!"
Marshall was tired of being so crowded on a daily basis. His life had consisted of someone else mapping his day out, for what seemed like every single day of his life. He felt trapped with his lifestyle. So trapped that he felt claustrophobic. He didn't even know what was wrong-scratch that- he did, he just didn't know how to deal with or fix it. Shaun knew all the tall tell signs of Marshall being self destructive & this was it if he never saw it. But it had never been this bad. Not since he lost Ronnie years ago & even so, it wasn't on this level.
"I don't think that's a good idea." Shaun replied even though he knew it only made Marshall boil inside.
"I don't give a fuck!!" he shouted into the tiny phone. "Shaun, I swear that if you come over here you can kiss our friendship goodbye!!" Marshall replied finally struggling to pull himself off of the floor. He tossed his phone on the bed & strode into the filthy bathroom.

He hated himself for what he just said, but he couldn't stop the empty feelings he had inside. He scratched his ruffled hair as he stopped infront of the mirror in his bathroom. He grimaced at his reflection, only to pull the medicine cabinet open & pull out a bottle of perscription pills. There were eight different bottles to choose from, which ever got picked was the lucky one. He struggled with the cap as he twisted it to open & it finally popped. He pulled out a couple & threw them in his mouth as he grabbed the glass sitting on the sink. He turned the faucet on & ran a little water in it to chase the pills down. He placed the clear glass back on the sink & stared at himself breifly once more. He grew angry & stormed outta the bathroom. He couldn't stay in there one second longer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marshall watched Hailie & Alaina as they hopped out of the car he brought for his "wife" as a wedding present. He was across the street, sitting in his white Yukon. He didn't want them to know he was there. He saw Kim hop outta the car, her long hair was blowing in the wind & it was now bleached blonde again, with a bit of her old color. He sneered at the thought what happened before he left. The fight...he shook it from his mind & stared at her hug Hailie as she smiled brightly. She then shuffled off into the huge crowd of kids with Alaina. Kim watched breifly & turned to leave, but she spotted Marshall's car. She squinted as she tried to make him out, but he started the truck & pulled off. Zooming off & hooking a left turn got him outta site immediately, but he kept goin'. He didn't want to talk to her, not now. Not ever. He wasn't really paying attention to the fact that he was zooming down the road because his mind was racing. His cell phone went off with the ringer for his song "Kim". She definitely spotted him, which made him go even faster. His foot was just bearing on the pedal as he gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He zoomed passed a red light as someone was walking through the cross walk. His mind came into focus as he saw the figure & he immediatley stepped on the brake, but it was too late.
"Fuck!!" he screamed as the car skidded to a hault, but something thumped the car as the figure fell to the ground.

"Oh God...Oh God..." he mumbled as his body trembled. He was totally screwed. There were tons of witnesses standing around screaming in shock as others were calling someone on their cell phone. A few people were crowding infront of his car and he was more than terrified. He opened his truck door & saw signs of 'Slow' because he was in a college school zone. He headed around his car fearing to see the worst. This was just what he needed right now to build his moral. He finally saw a girl on the ground, sitting up, but shaking like a leaf.
"Jesus!!" she screamed as some of the other students helped her up. "Were you tryna kill me?!" she screamed with tears streaming down her cheeks as she looked up. His heart sank, but exhaled to see she was alright. Ironically, it had been Cyndi.
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't see you." he said as he heard people murmering the word Eminem. He was in deep shit, especially if it hit the news. He knew if there were a drug test it would be positive. People were taking pictures of him on their camera phone & he shuddard.
"Of course you didn't!! You ran a fuckin'..." she stooped in mid sentence as she saw who it was. "red light."
"I'm sorry." he repeated as she walked over to him. She stared at him and saw he was truly sincere. He knew he fucked up.
"Take me to breakfast & we'll talk about it."
He stared at her confused for a moment. He had almost ran her down & killed her & instead of pressing charges, seeing that he was rich & she would definitely get paid, she wanted to talk. He had to make the decision quick because he knew the police were on their way.

"Fine." he said grabbing her books & walking her around to the passenger's side. he opene the door for her & helped her inside, before hustilng around his side & getting in. He started the car & pulled off slowly as they sat silent.
"So..." he finally said breaking the silence. " Are you really ok?"
"Fine. The car barely touched me, I dropped my books on your hood though as I fell."
He sighed in releif to know the "thump" was.
"I really am fuckin' sorry." he replied again. She smiled as she looked over to him. "Why aren't you drivin' your car anyway?"
"Hello, I'm a college student. MSU gets crowded. But rest assure I'll be drivin' from now on."
"I never pegged you to be a college student." he said staring at her breifly, then the road.
"Why not?" "I don't know. You were at the club."
"Which is not my regular place to hang out." she said rubbing her wrist as she leaned back & groaned.
He looked over at her once again & inquired "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes. I just hurt my wrist catching my own fall." she chuckled. "So, where we eatin'?"
"I don't know. What do you have in mind?" he replied because he didn't have an appetite.
"How about a 'Waffle House' or somethin'." "A small diner's great." he replied because he now hated being in public.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Did you get Em on the phone yet?" Paul asked Shaun as they listened to a beat Kon produced.
"Yeah, but he ain't talkin'." he reassured. "I don't have time for games. I'm gonna wring his fuckin' neck."
Shaun sighed frustrated as he watched Paul pace angrily. "Look Paul, somethin's up wit' Em."
"I'm tired of that exscuse. He married Kim again. He had to get sent to rehab & have a huge tour cancelled. He got hooked on whatever the fuck he's takin'...and I'm done makin' exscuses. He still has to do his job. So tell him we have to get on makin' a new album. Jimmy wants it." With that said, he stormed outta the room. He didn't wanna hear anything but good news.


Leave feedback please!! queen Twisted Evil Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Mar 14, 2009 5:29 pm

he should really ditch kim
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:00 pm

I really like the update. Kim doesn't give up so easily, does she? Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:02 pm

Nope. Smile I'm gonna update this one 2day 4 u guys. Just give me awhile because I am working on a real novel at the same time. Smile Twisted Evil
I know u really like this one Zoe. cheers
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:42 pm

"Are you gonna get that?" Cyndi inquired as she looked over her menu & saw Marshall staring uncomfortably around the tiny, half full diner.
"Um.." he cleared his throat as he shifted in his seat. "No."
He knew it was either Kim, Shaun or Paul & he didn't really feel like speaking to any of those people.
"Hmm..." she replied softly as she looked back at the menu. He eyes shifted to her as the phone fell silent.
"What are you gonna eat?" she inquired, noticing that he hadn't even touched the menu since they'd sat down.
"I'm not hungry." he replied & her eyes shot up to him once more.
"Really?" she smiled as their eyes finally met. "I think that's strange, seein' as how you're stomach has growled about 3 times since we got here.
He sighed frustrated because he really didn't want anyone else butting into his life. He couldn't wait for this to be over so he could scurry home & crawl back into the dark--alone.

"May I take you're order?" a waitress replied as she chewed a piece of gum. She was wearing a short blue mini skirt, with a short sleeve white top. Her eyes glanced over to Cyndi & she was still staring at Marshall, so the waitresses eyes shifted towards him & they immediately widend.
"Oh wow." she smiled as she recognized him. "You're Eminem!!" she shouted and a few more people looked over. He looked up uncomfortably because he hated being spotted in public anymore. He just wanted to be a normal guy, which he knew would never happen.
"I love you're music." she smiled as sh e jotted something on the pad she was holding. "I love YOU."
"Here." she said slipping him the paper as Cyndi sat her menu down on the table. "Here's my number."
"I..." he started, but Cyndi cut him off.
"How dare you?!" she yelled standing up & getting in the brunettes face. "Can't you see me & my fiance' are having a private breakfast?"
"Fiance'?" she inquired a bit intimidated.
"Yes." she said nearly pushing the girl. "If you'd like to challenge that we can take it outside." she said as everyone watched.

"What's goin' on over here?" an older male inquired as he strolled over to them. He was wearing a black t-shirt with the logo of the resteraunt on it. He was obviously the manager.
"Oh Christ..." Marshall mumbled as he stared up to them. He couldn' t believe that he was accompied by a crazy person.
"This...waitress here, hit on my fiance right in my face. She is disrespectful." Cyndi replied in a elegant voice. "My fiance' wanted nothing more than to wind down & she came over her making a big deal."
"Rebecca..." the manager replied furious as he saw Marshall sitting at the table. "I apologize." he replied 2 Cyndi & Marshall.
"Your tab will be paid by her." "But..." Rebecca interjected.
"You go to my office now." he replied angrily and she sighed as she walked away.

"I don't think we'll dine here today." she said grabbing Marshall's hand & pulling him up.
"I truly am sorry." the manager replied furious that he lost a celebrity client.
"It's perfectly fine." Cyndi replied holding Marshall's hand. "we'll be back." she smile strolling out as s he tugged Marshall with her.
"What'd you do that for?!!" he practically yelled as they headed to his truck."
"I saw how uncomfortable you were just sitting there & that slut of a waitress didn't make it any better." she replied angrily as if she'd known him forever. She was picking up on the fact that something was wrong. He wasn't a happy camper & that didn't seem like his personality to her. But she definitely could be wrong. Celebrities always protrayed different personas for the lime light.
"thankls I guess." he replied unlocking the truck & hopping in as she did the same.
"No prob. Let's go to my place for breakfast." she smiled looking over to him as he started the truck.

'This girl must be nuts if she thinks I'm gonna go to some strange place with her.' he thought.
"You still owe me breakfast for tryin' to kill me." she smiled as she joked. "Not to mention that I never called in a favor for savin' ur ass at the club."
He just sighed as he pulled off. "Where to?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I can't believe him." Kim protested as she stormed into the livingroom. She took off her coat & tossed her keys into a basket on a table.
"What's the matter?" her mother inquired as she flipped off the t.v.
"I saw that ass of a husband of mines & he fuckin' took off without saying a word!!" she screeched as she sat beside her mother.
"I told you ever since you laid eyes on him to get rid of him." her mother replied rolling her eyes. None of Kim's family ever like him. They despised the very breaths he took.
"I know,I know." she sighed, but he was just so...so...." She had no words because he was the best boyfriend a girl could ever ask for & all she could do was fuck him over. Litterally. She was always cheating & usin' him for money. When it first started, she loved him, but he got boring because he was too straight laced for her. He was her safety net anytime a boy fucked her over. Not to mention the secret she was holding for years. She wasn't about to let that out, but she feared he knew. The argument they had seemed to ensure it. She was afraid to be alone years ago. Now...it was easy to find someone else. Her husband was rich & any guy would love to join her circle.

"So what kim?" "Nothing." she replied.
"He better bring his ass home." she finishe as she clenched her fist.
"Why would you even want him 2?" he mother sneered. She'd moved in to help with the kids after Marshall "hightailed it" outta there months ago.
"He fuckin' left you and the girls to fend for youself after making all of you promises. I blame it on the drugs."
Kim groaned frustrated because she wanted him to be clean. The thing that hurt Marshall most was the fact that he stuck by her during her struggle & she blasted him about his. No one knew his real reasons for using. They just all assumed things.
"Me too. But he get back here." she said grabbing her cell & dialing his number again.

Leave comments & request here. queen Twisted Evil
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:41 pm

thanks for the update. I like how he's afraid of Cyndi a bit instead of vice versa. I wonder if Cyndi will have a chance to see his messy house and what she would tell. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:16 pm

Marshall turned his SUV off & took the keys from the ignition before taking a look at her place.
"This it?" he inquired, taking a breath & leaning his head back on the headrest.
"Mmm Hmm." she smiled taking her seatbelt off as she unlocked her door & his cell phone went off once again.
He grumbled frustrated as he pulled it out & saw the word 'Private' on the tiny screen.
"That must be really annoying seeing as how you don't want to answer it."
He glanced over at her frustrated as he opened the phone. "I'll just turn it off." he mumbled. He wanted to go home, but he didn't want her to suddenly go to the police if he didn't have breakfast with her. He turned the phone off & shoved it back in his pocket as Cyndi got out.
"You comin'?" she smiled sticking her head back in the passenger side after grabbing her books.
"Yeah." he sighed as he took of his seatbelt & got out. He looked up at the gorgeous condo, then stared at her.

"How can you afford this?" he asked skeptical. His mind already came up with an answer. She had to be an extortionist. She must've targeted celebrities & got a shit load of money outta them after diggin' up some kind of dirt. Well, he couldn't afford that. It wasn't gonna happen to him. That would definitely explain how they mysteriously bummped into each other at the club & today when he nearly ran her down. He wsn't leaving it to chance or fate or whatever. She had to be scheming on him.
"My great grandfather came up with this stupid invention called the light bulb." she smiled cockily.
"Are you shittin' me?" he asked following her into the glass doorway. "Yeah, I am. My dad's just really wealthy. He owns 15 huge firms around the world."
"Wow..." he mumbled as they walked into the plush livingroom, that had a beautiful white carpet & the walls were black, onlined in white & her furniture was also white. She had a beautiful built in aquarium that reached from the ceiling to the floor in the center of the room. I was definitelt elegant & unique. He looked around as she sat her books down, then took of her coat.
"I'll be right back." she smiled politely before exscusing herself from the room. He stared at at the picture frames all over the walls & table tops of her & her picture perfect family. Her mother was none the less beautiful like her & her father was a burly guy & sorta reminded him of Dre, which almost made him chuckle, but he didn't. A smile did sweep across his face lightly though.

"So you can smile." she replied walking back into the room looking different. Her black hair was long & falling down passed her shoulders & she was now wearing a pretty white sweater dress that came down above her knees & nothing more but fluffy white bunny slippers. His smile immediately dropped as he stared at her walk over to him. "It's ok." she smiled walking passed him. "I'm not gonna bite."
He watched her stand next to him, then she looked at the picture he was looking at.
"Nice huh?" He didn't answer, his eyes just wandered down to hr carmel toned legs & immediately turned away. He felt ashamed of himself because she had to be too young.
"So, what do you want to eat?" she finally replied looking at him.
"I'm not hungry." he insisted as he moved away from her & sat on the couch. It had been ages since he'd been alone in a room with a girl, aside from Kim. He had no intention of knowing her. He just wanted to go home.
"I'm gonna to cook pancakes,eggs,bacon & sausage. How does that sound?" she asked ignoring his statement. He just grimaced at the thought because he really didn't have an appetite.

"Look," she said handing him the remote off of the couch after flipping the t.v. on. "Make yourself at home & I'll be back hubby." she laughed as she left the room & went into the huge kitchen. He just watched unnerved as she disappeared before he sat down on her white sofa. It was tremendously comfortable. He flipped through the channels & landed on MTV when he saw his face plastered on the screen.
"Eminem has had a rough year it seems by him canceling the Anger Managent 3 Tour. We were covering the tour with him, 50 Cent & Lil John. Being checked into rehab was..." he flipped because he was so sick of hearing about himself. Everything was so bad. No one ever talked about the good things he did, like taking care of his girls or even opening a shelter for kids. No. It was always about him in jail, on drugs or God knows what. He was anger with himself for painting that picture to the public. He was not Slim Shady. He was Marshall. The shy, geeky kid who always got shuffled around with little love. Marshall Bruce Mathers the 3rd...the man with a huge heart always on his sleeve that seemed to get trampled.
He groaned as he leaned his head back on the couch. His body was aching so bad that he felt like he got hit by a Mack Truck. He'd been feelin' like that for awhile, hence the reason he was always trying to numb himself. Symptoms of stess he thought. Only he never knew it could hurt this bad. He clenched the remote as he tried to take in deep breath. He definitely had to go home & this was a good reason to. He sat up and his head spinned for a second as he felt liquid running down the left side of his lip. He dabbed it with his left hand & saw blood on his fingers. His breathing grew a bit rapidly as he shot up from his seat.

"How do you like your eggs?" Cyndi asked surprising him as she came through the door from the kitchen. He turned his back towards her before replying, "I'm sorry but I have to go." He couldn't let her see what was going on. He knew word would get out & he was just stressing to much. Everyone would think it was drugs. He rushed to the door as she replied "But...."
It was cut short by the door slamming. She sighed frustrated as she folded her arms acrossed her chest dissapointed.
"That was rude." she replied as she saw his wallet on the floor. She walked over to see red blood drops on her couch & two more small ones on the floor. She looked up towards the door as she picked up his wallet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marshall gripped the steering wheel as he sat in his car outside of his house, inside his estate. His head was pounded & he was glad to be home. He'd driven there like a mad man & didn't have the strength to drag himself from the car.
"Come on Marshall. Get out & go in the house."
With those words, he got out of the car & jetted into the house. He rushed upstairs & went into his room only to see Kim sitting on his bed. She looked over to him with fury in her eyes that only he could recognize from years of studying it.
"How'd you get in here?" he asked appauled by her presence. She just got up from the bed & stolled over to him. As soon as she reached him, she smacked the fire out of him. Leaving a red hand print on the right side of his cheek. He grabbed it as he stared back at her & bawled his fist to keep from grabbing her.
"It's nice to see you too." she finally replied. "You made me a key remember? I am your wife."
He just stood silent. "How could you leave us like that?!" she screamed as she got in his face. "For these?!!" she screamed as she pulled out a bottle from his stash of persription pills. His eyes widened angriily as she stared at him.
"You're pathetic." she scoffed. "It's empty because I dumped it." she laughed as she tossed it to him.

"Come home baby." she said standing face to face with him and she frowned. ""Look at you. You look terrible. You're all red faced & this place is filthy."
"Get out." he whispered. She destroyed any good feeling he had about himself which was zilch to begin with.
"What?!" she asked appauled. "Get..." he said "Out."
"You're unbelievable you know that?!!" she screamed as she shoved him. "I thought you loved me...."
She stopped abruptly with her sentence & scoffed. "Fuck this. You abandoned us. You don't deserve me to beg." she pushed passed him & stormed out of the room. He clenched the empty bottle & walked into the bathroom as he heard her car start up & leave. His head was pounding annoyingly & he needed it to stop. He stormed over to the sink & saw all of his bottles open & empty.
"Jesus..." he mumbled as he frowned and he grabbed his head. He leaned over the sink & grabbed the sides only to see blood drip into it. He wiped it quickly, but it kept leaking.

"Hello?" he heard a voice reply as someone knocked on his bathroom door. He looked over to see Cyndi & she grimaced.
"Oh my God..." she replied rushing over & grabbing him some tissue. She rushed to him & he snatched it from her.
"What are you doin' here!!" h e shouted muffled as he held the wad of tissue to his nose. "How'd you know where I lived?!! Get out!!"


Last edited by Admin on Thu Mar 19, 2009 11:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:31 pm

can't wait till next update cheers lol! Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Mar 19, 2009 11:07 pm

kool, go back & read it plz. I added more. Smile Towards the part where kim was sitting on the bed.
Leave more comments. cheers flower queen
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:59 pm

Now Cyndi will see the contrast in their homes and probably even in their lives. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:54 pm

can't wait till next update
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Wed Apr 01, 2009 11:01 pm

Should I update?! affraid queen
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Apr 02, 2009 4:56 pm

ya for sure
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Apr 04, 2009 12:32 am

"You dropped your wallet." she said scarce as she sat it on the counter & turned to leave. Marshall dragged in a deep breath as he looked over to her. He realized he was taking the anger he had pinned up inside out on her & she damn sure didn't deserve it. Not when she drove all the way to his hiome to return his property. She could've easily kept the mechandise, spent the money in his wallet & on his credit cards, & ontop of that sold his shit on E-Bay. He didn't get this girl, she was different from others, yet she was interested in him. Maybe just on a social level, but she was definitely concerned. He didn't want to believe it, so he shrugged it off. No girl he'd met ever cared about him. Including his own mother. He was nothing, or atleast that's what he felt about himself. He groaned in pain as he saw more blood drip into the sink. He grabbed his head as it throbbed & everything started to go black.

Marshall jumped as he opened his eyes and tried to sit up. A wet rag rolled off of his forhead & he clenched it tight as he felt someone gently nuged him to lay down.
"Calm down..." he heard a female voie reply as he tried to focus on the things around the room.
"What the fuck happened?" he asked a bit freaked as he recognized Cyndi's face.
"You passed out." she replied gently grabbing the rag from him. He thought back to the last thing he remembered & clearly remembered being enclosed in darkness. He sat up frantically and stared at her as if she'd done something wrong.
"What did you do to me?" he asked skeptical as he swung his feet off the bed that was now fixed properly. He stared around his room & felt embarrassed that someone---anyone saw it.
"I helped you to the bed. You scared the hell out of me." she replied still sitting on his bed beside him.
"Helped...me....?" he groaned as he rubbed his head. He felt like it was gonna explode.
"Yeah. Are you alright? I mean I can call a doctor..." "No doctors!!!!" he shouted & she jumped. She stared at the expressio on his face & was shocked to see that it wasn't anger he was feeling. His face showed fear. He was afraid.

"I mean I was gonna call a doctor, but your breathing was fine...a little shallow but fine." she said & he looked on confused.
"How do you know?" "My mom's a doctor." she smiled.
He sighed as he looked down to the bed. He was so tired that he could hardly hold himself up. He found it hard to breath some days & hated himself for it. Stressing like he did only made him weak. Literally. He laid down on the bed as Cyndi watched. She then stared around the mess he called a room & couldn't believe his lifestyle. He was such an opposite for her. Still, he scared her to death & she couldn't just leave him sprawled out on the bathroom floor, bleeding. "Are you always having nosebleeds?"
"No." he said trying to relax as he held his pillow to his chest. It had been ages since he'd been in his bed comfortably.
"You can go now." he said softly as he stared blanklyy at the wall. Cyndi sighed as she looked towards the door, then back at him. She was ready to high tail it out of there, but something was egging her to stay. She wanted to find whatever it was & kill it. She never dealt with guys like this & wasn't ready to start now. "Are yiou sure you're ok?"
"Fine. Now leave." he replied not turning to acknowledge her. She calmly stood & went to the door only to stop after hearing him groan.
"Marshall..." she said turning & going back. "I think you need to see a doctor."

He sat up angrily & turned to her with such anguish. "You wanna know what's really wrong with me?" he asked sarcastically.
"I'm a drug addict & my bitch of a wife dumped all my pills." He didn't mean what he was satying, he was just trying to push her away. He was using pills, but only to stop constant headaches & fatigue that he was always getting.

I know it's short but I gotta go eat. I been busy. Enjoy & please tell me what u think. I need ur feedback Smile queen
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:22 pm

Sorry 4 hte delay but I will continue to update this. Just busy. Smile What do you guys think will happen?


Reply here LOL lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Wed Apr 08, 2009 6:16 pm

I don't know what will happen. Maybe Cyndi will stay in his house? Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:56 pm

"Don't say that about yourself." She protested as she walked back to his bed.
"You don't know me enough to say I'm not." he said spitefully, yet hurt by the fact that he called himself that. He vowed to himself as kid he wouldn't turn out pathetic & messed up like his family, but he damn sure felt like he did. Despite all the money & fame he was still pathetic in his eyes. She sighed because she knew he was right. She didn't know him & he was always acting like a prick, but she knew he had to be hiding something deeper. Everyone who acted that way had a reason.
"Then talk to me Marshall. Tell me what's wrong." "Fuck off!!" he shouted not looking at her as he heard his cell phone ring.
She took in a breath and walked to side he was lying on.
"What do you wanna hear me say?" she asked sarcastically. "That you're obviously a huge pig who can't please his wife & love his family because you're always too wasted?" After saying that, she heard him suck in his emotions. She'd hurt him.
"I won't say that because even though I don't know you personally," she said dropping to the floor & looking him in the eyes. "I know you're a good person. It radiates off you even when u are a dick." she smiled. "Something's just eating at you."
"I...." "Marshall?!!" they heard someone yell & it cut him off. His eyes widened in what looked to be fear as he struggled to sit up. He knew the voice belonged to Shaun.
"They can't see me like this. You have to hide." pleaded nervously. He always had to be the srtong one for everybody in his team.

He heard a bunch of footsteps heading upstairs as Cyndi threw him a clean t-shirt. She took the one stained in blood & placed it in the hamper before taking the pale of warm water into the bathroom. He watched her as she closed the door.
"We need to talk..." Shaun replied making it to the doorway with the rest of D12 behind him.
"I asked you not to come over." he said angrily as he turned to see them.
"I don't care. You been buggin' man & we're worried." Shaun protested.
"How the fuck am I buggin'?!! I just need some space."
Shaun shook his head as Denaun, Von & Biz surrounded Marshall a bit so he wouldn't spaz or try to high tail it. They'd gone through something similar only months earlier with him. Shaun sighed & shook his head as the other guys rolled their eyes. They were tired of the drama & Shaun dragged them over there for support. They felt that since Em told them to leave him alone, they should listen. Shaun on the other hand always seemed to see what they weren't willing to. "It doesn't seem that simple. If it was just that..."
"It is just that." he said wanting to be left alone.

"Then why don't you talk to Paul...or Dre even?" Denaun asked & Marshall rolled his eyes.
"It's always about buisness with u guys ain't it?" he scoffed.
"No man. We're here because we care about you." Shaun replied.
"Shaun, I'll give it to you. You might care about me." He replied as he eyed everyone else. "But they don't."
"Man fuck you." Denaun growled angrily. He and Marshall were always at each other's throats since they'd met. They were damn good friends but always clashed because Marshall wore his heart on his sleeve & Denaun always trampled it with his words. It started with the situation between him & Kim. "No, fuck you!!" Marshall shouted.
"I'm outta here." Swift replied walking out of the room. He was tired of the same ol' same ol'.
"Right behind you." Biz replied. "We don't have to take this shit." Denaun protest.
"Why don't ya'll please calm down." Kuniva replied upset. He hated seeing his friends fight.

"No. I won't calm down 'til this fake ass friend of mines leaves my fuckin' house!!" Marshall shouted.
"Make me." Denaun replied stepping into his face. Marshall hated that, so he pushed him. Denaun in turn grabbed him & they began to tussle.
"Stop it!!" Shaun yelled as he tried to pull them apart, but he was small compared to the both of them. Denaun gave Marshall a good hit to the gut as Kuniva tried to help pull them apart.
"Please stop it!!" they heard Cyndi scream & all of them stopped in their tracks to look at her. She couldn't hide any longer with hearing what was going on. She was afraid that they were hurting Marshall when he had already passed out about 30 minutes earlier.
Shaun looked at her & cocked an eyebrow, then looked at Marshall confused. Denaun just chuckled.
"Oh, I see." Denaun started. "You were hiding her. That's the reason you wanted us to leave?"
"I don't have to answer to you." he said holding his gut where he'd been punched.
"Right. But you have to answer to you're wife. I wonder how she'll feel hearin' this." Denaun poked.
"I swear to God if you tell her..." he replied trying to go after him, but Shaun got in his way & held him back.
" Calm down, you know he's not gonna tell her." he reassured.

"I might. You know we have our history." he smiled sarcastically.
"Fuck you Denaun!!" he shouted as Shaun still held him. "Come on man." Kuniva replied to Kon. He knew that was a soft spot for Marshall.
"It's not my fault that he can't get over the fact that I fucked his girl." he said answering Kuniva & Shaun rolled his eyes.
"Get the fuck out of my house. You're not my friend. You never were my friend."
"She was a slut then & she's a slut now. Get. Over. It!!" Denaun shouted. "We were fuckin' kids!!"
With that said, Kuniva pushed his best friend out of the room & Marshall snatched away from Shaun.
"Why the fuck would you bring them over here?!!"
"Can I please speak to him in private?" he asked Cyndi politely. She nodded, but Marshall interjected.
"She doesn't have to leave. Say what you wanna say in front of her."

Shaun stared at the cold glare in Marshall's eyes & saw it was empty. His friend wasn't there anymore. He was slipping away & he needed to bring him back. "Fine. What the fuck is wrong with you Marshall?" he finally asked straight forward cuting out the nice parts.
"You got Kim callin' me; fuckin' worried about her husband. You got Paul & Dre shoutin' at me about why you're not at the studio..."
"That shit doesn't matter to me right now." he said looking away.
"Ok, but why must it come down to Hailie callin' me askin' have I seen her dad?"
Things went silent for a moment. Marshall looked over at him hurt & Shaun then saw a little speck of Marshall there. No matter what was going on, Hailie always brought his friend back to reality. He hoped to God it wasn't drugs like before. He couldn't understand what would drive Marshall to this length. He was pushing everyone away. Even his little girl & that never happened.
Cyndi stood devestaed of the conversation & she wanted nothing more than to high tail it. She figured her being there would only cause more trouble. Everyone was thinking he was cheating on Kim with her. She should've just stayed in the bathroom.
"You don't understand." he said shaking his head nearly breaking down in tears.
"Then make me understand." "I can't..." Marshall uttered as he sat on his bed. "I just can't..."
Shaun grew frustrated as he looked up to Cyndi. He felt betrayed & in the dark. His friend was seemingly cutting him out of his life and he was hurt because he was making the effort to help him.
"Then call me when you can." he said turning & walking out.

Marshall looked up to stop him, but he just let him go. He couldn't up to him right now. He didn't know he ever would.
"Why don't you just tell them what's wrong?" Cyndi asked walking to him.
"Because I donn't know what's wrong." he said looking up to her with tears streaming down his cheeks.
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Tue Apr 14, 2009 4:09 pm

I really, really like this story. It's really well written!
Can't wait for an update!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Apr 16, 2009 1:38 pm

Since everyone loves this one soooooooo much (including me), I'll update this one a bit more than others. This one & The Other Side of 8 Mile. I love that one ALOT. Um...Later 2 day this will have an update. Any suggestions? What do u think will happen? Post please. Smile cheers queen
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Apr 17, 2009 1:47 am

Sorry 4 the late update but I was out all day with family

"Don't give me that." Cyndi replied staring at him. He knew what his problem was even if he didn't want to admit it & if he didn't really know---that was a whole different ball game. She knew she should've just picked up & left when he ordered her too. This was way too much & ontop of that, it wasn't her problem. He stared down into his lap as more tears fell endlessly. He couldn't help himself. He always hated wearing his heart on his sleeve. That's why he tried to hide it for so many years. And it proved to work. Apparently being an asshole worked. It made him a fortune. He sucked up his tears & looked up to her angrily. It was time to shake off the soft interior & throw on his armour again.
"What do you know?" he asked giving her the evil eye. "Just...go."
She sucked in a frustrated breath & nearly hightailed it to the door because she was sick of being turned away from a person who she didn't even know. She just trying to be nice & all he could from the moment they met was be a dick.
"Not until I say my peace." she demanded bawling her fist. "I've been nothing but nice to you. You're misreable & all you do is turn people away. You're gonna end up an old bitter man. Something's seriously eating at you & until you can admit it...you're gonna drive youself crazy."
With that she turned and walk away. With every step she felt herself shake off his burden. Or atleast try to.

"I didn't turn them away..." he mumbled painfully as he looked down in his lap again. Hearing her say that he would be an old bitter man triggered something that was always ever present in his mind. His mother.
He was gonna end up like her like everyone always said & for a stranger to say it...it made it only hurt more.
"What?" Cyndi asked turning around, even though she never meant to stop.
"I said I didn't turn them away." he replied looking up to her misty eyed once more.
"Then what do you call it?" she asked frustrated as she walked back to him again.
"They turned their backs on me." "It sure didn't look that way." she interjected.
He looked down defeated by her statement & she realized he wanted to talk without saying it blatantly. She wanted to kick herself for giving in to the anger that was slowly developing inside her from his constant bitterness he pojected to her. She placed her pocket book on the bed & got on her knees in front of him to be level eyed. She had to show him he could trust her with whatever he was harboring. It was something her father taught her growning up.

"Marshall..." she replied & he moved his head away from her. She took in a breath & took his face into her hands gently, making him look at her. Their eyes met & she saw the pain deep inside.
"Marshall...I'm here for you." she said sweetly, not breaking eye contact. "What's wrong?"
He took her hand by the wrist gently & laid his face in her hand only breifly before removing them. He hadn't been touched with such tender & kindness in forever. Some part of him longed for it & she saw it too.
"They...they look at me with such..." he couldn't finish his sentence because he hated dredging the sitation up. Hence the reason he tried to drown it out with liquor or pills. "Such what?" she pushed on.
He just stared her in the eyes for a moment, being silent.
"Such..." *Ring* *Ring*

He was cut short by his cell phone ringing. He shut his mouth as they both looked over to it. He was somewhat releived, while she was up to her eyeballs with frustration. They were always being interrupted.
He got up off the bed as she watched him & he grabbed the phone.
"Hello?" he inquired frustrated, nearly yelling as she got off of the floor & sat on the bed. There was no way she was gonna leave now when she was so close to the truth.
"Daddy?" he heard a familiar voice inquire on the other end. "It's me. Hailie."
His heart sank as he gripped the cell phone.
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:59 am

ahhh! Thanks!
Great update! I just love the character cindy in this story. She seems to be strong, intelligent and kind.

can't wait for more... Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:29 pm

Thanks Yellowbird 4 the replies. Keep em comin'. Smile They are truly inspiration to keep goin'. As u can see it is very hard to get any replies. I get about two or three of u to reply.

"Are you there daddy?" she inquired because he'd been quiet for awhile. He couldn't find any words to say to her.
"I'm here." He finally choked out. "When are you coming home?"
How was gonna explain to his not so little girl why he left & why he wasn't coming back? Did he want to come back? Something in there did, but just for the girls' sake. Not Kim. Not anymore.
"Daddy?" she asked impatiently & confused. To her, her father was acting over the top weird. This was the first time she'd spoken to him in what seemed like forever because he always called her everyday. Even if he didn't speak to anyone else.
"I'm here." "Then tell me when you're coming home. I miss you."
"I miss you too." he said wiht his heart breaking even more than before. It was just easier not to talk to her, but now he couldn't just hang up. Not on her. Not ever. He gripped the phone a bit more as he looked over to Cyndi and she just watched him.
"But I can't come home baby."
"Yes you can!!" she shouted enraged & he let out an exasperated sigh. "You promised me, mommy, Lainie & Whit you wouldn't leave us this time & you did!!" she shouted & she sounded like her mother. He closed his eyes & sighed as he tried not to shed a tear, but it didn't work. His tears were flowing even more than before now. He did promise them everything would be fine this time. No more music,no more fighting, no more leaving...and he broke that promise when he walked out of the door. Not only had he left, he'd cut them off. Not just Kim. He'd cut off his daughters without an explaination.

"Hai...you don't understand." "You always say that. I do understand now dad. You love everyone else but us don't you?"
No...it's not like that baby..." "Yes it is dad. You always said nothing mattered more to you in this world than me."
"Nothing does." he said trying to plead his case. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her.
"Then why won't you just come home right now?" Her question stumped him. He said if she asked, he would do it & here she ws asking, but could he do it?
"Hai..." "No daddy. You said...and I believed you. I must be stupid."
"You're not stupid." he protested. He didn't like how his girls were growing up & being so independent & outspoken. In his eyes they were little girls, but in reality they were growing up. He couldn't accept it. Not yet, he needed more time.
"Yeah I am. Because I always begged for you to stay home & you left anyway. You always left." she cried & his heart wrenched.
"Hailie..." he replied as he heard Kim's voice in the background. "Give me the phone Hailie."
"Hello?" she asked more than a bit peeved. He was quiet for a moment before replying, "Yeah."
"Great Marshall. You have her crying again." she nearly shouted frustrated. "What do you want?"

Cyndi watched as Marshall sucked up his tears again & grew angry. He was so unpredictable because his mood just flipped from one to the other in a snap. "Whoever he was talking to wasn't healthy for him right now because he had deep issues to deal with & he didn't seem stable enough to deal with this right now. Being a psyc major helped her see when someone was mentally unstable & he was definitely unstable. He was depressed, angry & confused. She knew her father made her take up that as major for a reason---so she could weed out all the nutcases & steer clear of them. He wanted her to be a strong independent woman & that she was. She'd got that from both her parents.
"Let me talk to her Kim!!" he shouted as he paced over to his dresser. Cyndi watched and noticed he was trembling as he held the phone. Stress was definitely wasn't his friend & by the episode he'd had only moments eariler...he nedded to avoid it.
"Marshall..." Cyndi replied trying not to be so loud so the person on the phone hadn't heard. After all, he was married.
"I'm coming over there right now!!" he shouted hanging up the phone. He grabbed a pair opf clothes sprawled over the floor & began to throw them on.
"Marshall..." Cyndi replied getting up & going to him. "Don't."
"You're not stopping me." he said pulling away from her & looking everywhere for his keys.

"She's tryna keep my little girl from me." he said tossing a dirty t-shirt to the floor and looked under his comforter on the bed. He was frantic by the thought of losing her. Especially after he'd known he'd hurt her. He just had to talk to her--atleast make her understand. He realized he was losing grip with himself because he was slipping further away from his daughters & that damn sure wasn't him. He never intended for it to be this way, but he wasn't himself. He hadn't been himself since he began writing Encore & then the tour started. It was like he was on a roller coaster ride with no end. Sinced he'd been signed there was no stopping. If it wasn't his career, it was something going on with his family. It was just too much for him to handle & he'd finally cracked on tour. He thought leaving the spotlight would help, but it seemed to be causing more problems. He was pulled in so many directions that he was realizing that he as spinning out of control. Everyone saw it, but he couldn't.
"Ok. Calm down." she said stopping him. "I'll drive you." she offered. It was the only thing she could offer & she would never forgive herself if something happened to him. He was already frantic as it was.
"You can't take me. Kim'll...she won't understand." "I'll stay in the car. Nobody'll know." she offered.
Just then, a huge weight was lifted off of hs shoulders because it solved one problem. He felt good knowing someone...anyone was trying to stand by his side rather than bash him. But he still felt like she was using him. He wasn't thinking straight because he was such a wreck. He couldn't see she genuinely cared. She had no agenda. She was just concerned for him & his well being.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you serious?" Kim asked staring at Marshall as he stood in her doorway. He'd just showed up and demanded to see his girls. After what they'd argued about ealier, there was no way she was letting him in.
"Let me in Kim. This is my house. I still pay the fuckin' bills."
She rolled her eyes as she blocked the doorway. If he wanted to get in, he was run her down.
"No. I pleaded for you to come home Marshall & you spat in my face!!"
He looked away as his head began to hurt a bit. His whole body was still aching & needed a pain pill. He shook the thought off & stared into her eyes coldly. "You dumped my pills." he said under his breath.
"Oh my God. You are such an addict." she scoffed as stared at what she deemed to be her pathetic husband.
"No. You came over to pick a fight!!" he shouted. "Is that all you heard? Did you not hear me begging you to come back & hold our family together?!!" she asked still blocking his way. All he wanted was to go inside & hug his girls.
"You decided not to see them or me anymore. You. Not me. I didn't kick you out. We had a disagreement & you left."
"A disagreement?!! Is that what you call it?!" "For the last time I'll ask you this & from then on, it's on you."
She took in a breath & stared at him with nothing but love. "Come home baby. We can work things out. We always do."

"No." he spat. He just couldn't live a mirage anymore. "I just wanna see my daughter."
"Well I don't wanna see you." Hailie replied with such venom as she pushed passed her mother.
"I thought mom was lying about asking you to come home, but she wasn't. This is your fault. I hate you!!" she shouted running away & he saw her disappear upstairs. Kim stared at him disappointed.
"Leave us alone Marshall. You're doing nothing but hurting us." she replied closing the door.
He stood devestated as he tried to process what had just transpired. Maybe it was his fault everyone was beginning to hate him. Hearing Hailie say it seemed to only confirm the matter in his mind. It was made him feel even more pathetic then before.
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Apr 18, 2009 2:10 pm

well if it keeps you going with this story I'm gladly keep posting. Smile

this update is great. again.
I like cindy more and more. the whole independent thing. I love to really short stories and fan fiction and stuff like that from hobby-writer. But in some stroy, especially fan fics, the female character is weak and...whine.
Thats cool too... but... i'm an independent girl... so sometimes I really like a strong female character. So thanks. Wink

can't wait for the next update.
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Apr 20, 2009 7:39 am

please update Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Apr 25, 2009 5:33 pm

Update coming later 2day. Keep a weathered eye out.
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:10 am

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Cyndi asked looking over to Marshall as she parked in front of his huge house. He had most likely been cold from the freezing rain that had started right after Kim slammed the door in his face. It was like something out of a movie. His estate was huge & beautiful for him to just live there alone. He was staring down in his lap as he trembled a bit. She couldn’t tell if it was because he was cold from being rained on or just because his nerves were bad from all that happened. From the looks of things, he’d lost his friends & family & Cyndi couldn’t understand why he’d pushed them away. Not that it should’ve mattered to him that they were gone, but he obviously showed that it did. Still and all, he didn’t answer. He just stared down & she saw his raw emotion showing on his face. He was torn apart on the inside deeply.
“Marshall?” she asked leaning over to him.
“Thanks for giving me a ride ok?”
With that said, he opened her car door & got out into the freezing rain once again. He stood there for a moment staring up at the huge house that he lived in alone & trucked inside. He stood at the window after flipping on the light & saw Cyndi's car ride off. He then looked around for his keys & saw them lying on the table. He had somewhere to be. He grabbed the car keys & ran out into the cold rain once again, not caring that he wasn't wearing a coat. Cyndi suggested that he grabbed one earlier because it was way too cloudy but he refused. He just wanted to see his daughter & that was more than a bust. He unlocked his car door & hopped in. He started the SUV & pulled off quickly. He gripped the steering wheel tight as he sped out onto the road. He was driving like he didn't care about anything. And at that moment, he didn't. It was dark & late & he could barely see through the pouring rain. The car was silent, except for the sounds of his windsheild wipers swiping across the front glass window & the wheels of the car slushing with the water as it flew down the road. He saw the lights from his car on the dark ground, but that was all. It was just raining to hard & in the neighborhood he was heading into, the streetlights were either broke or way too dim. He was going back to his old neighborhood.
He stopped the car abruptly, barely parking it before he threw the door open & hoped out. He stalked away from the casr & left the door ajar, not giving a fuck. The rain poured over him endlessly as he stalked to an abandoned house. He ran up the three steps & knocked on the door. Hell, he pouned on the door so hard that it should've fallen in. He stood impatiently as he got even more drenched. He was pale from how cold he was.

The front door flew open & a .45 was aimed at his gace. He stood firm as he eyed the huge male standing there holding the gun. His eyes showed nothing but anger & so did the male standing there.
"What the fuck man!!" the male shouted putting the gun down & peering out of the door to ensure nobody had been following him. Cops especially. The male was an over tatted guy with long brown hair. He was a white guy bareing his chest & wearing nearly tight jeans. He looked like a bit of a rocker. He usually had his hair in a ponytail, but not tonight. His name was StarDust because he was the hugest supplier in the Detroit area.
"U bangin' on my fuckin' door like a cop." he said staring Marshall in the eyes.
"I need some shit Dust." he replied looking down. He felt pathetic for coming to this side of town alone like this. But he didn't care. He was worthless in everyone's eyes. That's what he assumed.
"Are u alone?" "What the fuck do you think?" he asked & Dust scoffed as he turned & Marshall followed him into the house, after closing the door.
"I got you're shit ready, but I'm surprised you called. It's been awhile." The hallway & other rooms were lit with candles & there were girls lying in rooms, obviously strung out. Marshall just followed him to his back office & stood as he grabbed a small bag off the table.
"Where's your friend?" he asked leaning on the table after tossing the bag at Marshall.
"I don't have friends." he sneered as he pulled out a wad of money & tossed it to him. Dust just shrugged his shoulders as he watched Marshall open the tiny bag & take 2 of the tiny white pills inside. He then stuffed the bag in his pocket & turned to leave.
"You know you're the best customer I got?" Dust inquired & Marshall shrugged as he walked towards the door. "I think you can give me a little more than this." he replied and Marshall stopped to turn and look at him offended.
"I pay you good." he replied staring him down.
"Yeah, but you pay the same as everybody else & you bein' a star...I should get more."
"Fuck you!!" Marshall replied turning to leave again. "How bout I fuck that pretty little wife of yours again?" he laughed & Marshall stopped once again. He spun around angrily & stalked to Dust, but stopped abruptly as he pulled out a gun.

"Give me everything you got!!" he spat and Marshall bawled his hands into a fist. He was gonna rush the guy, not caring about the consqences.
"No." he protested boldly & the guy shot off a round. The bullet hit the wall & plaster went flying. Marshall did all butch flinch & it pissed Dust off. He walked over to Marshall & aimed the gun at his head.
"You sure you want people to find you with you're brains splattered all over 8 Mile?"
"You ain't gettin' another dime from me bitch, so do you're worst!!" Marshall shouted. Dust began to pull the trigger & Marshall stood firm as the door burst open.
"Get away from him!!" Cyndi screamed aiming a small silver & gold glock at StarDust. He kept the gun aimed at Marshall as he looked over to her.
"Who the fuck are you?!!" Dust shouted holding his gun tightly.
"None of your fuckin' concern now drop the fuckin' gun. I already called the fuckin' cops."
"I don't belive you toots." he said with a smile, he was about to aim the gun at her, but she shot off a round near his foot & he jumped back.
"The next one is gonna be in your ass. Drop the fuckin' gun." she said calmly. Without hesitation, he dropped the gun to the floor & Marshall went & grabbed it He then took his money back.
"I swear to God I'll kill you for this." Dust replied spitefully. "Fuck you." Marshall said knocking him on the right side of the head with the butt of the gun & Dust fell to the floor with blood rolling down his face. Marshall then stalked from the room & Cyndi followed quickly.

She ran outside after Marshall as he walked to the middle of the street. She put her gun away & he turned to look at her angrily as he gripped StarDust's gun in his left hand.
"What the fuck are you doin' here!!" "What the fuck are you doing here?!!" She shouted back. She was glad she decided to circle the block & watch his house for a few minutes. She just had a gut feeling he would leave & she was right.
"It's 12 in the morning & you decide to come to the worst part of Detroit?!! Alone?!!" she looked back at the house & knew they should be leaving. She didn't want the maniac inside to come out & kill them both.
"He could've killed you." she replied sincere as they both got soaked from the rain.
"It's my business." he said as she looked at the gun in his hand & he was gripping it rather tight. She then realized he was inviting death in at any cost. There was nothing else for him. He knwe something like that would happen because Dust hated him. Everyone was always saying it.
"Marshall, give me the gun." He looked away from her & looked down breifly. "No."
He then pulled the gun up to his head & took a breath as he looked at her.
"Don't do this..." she pleaded stepping towards him. His hands were shaking as he kept eye contact with her.
"Why? I have nothing to live for." he said through gritted teeth. His drugs were definitely kicking in & jumbling his mind up.
"You have everything to live for. Yourself being the top priority."
He frowned a bit because he didn't understand that. He usually just said he was stickin' on this hell of an Earth for Hailie.
"Myself?" he scoffed as she stopped infront of him. "I'm nothing!! I hate myself!!"
"That may be true now, but who doesn't hate themselves sometimes? You just have to work on what's wrong..." "You don't understand..."
"I know. I know." she replied scared of him pulling the trigger. "Let's just go back to your place & talk about it." She placed her hands cautiously on the gun as he looked over to her shivering.
"I can just make it go away..." "Not like this." she replied. "Give me the gun."
He stood for a moment still gripping the gun as he looked down & closed his eyes. He was thinking of everything that had led him to that point, but he still releasedthe gun & she grabbed it quickly. She tossed it into the field near by as he stood shaken.
She pulled him into her arms and he broke into tears as he clutched her tightly. "It's ok." she assured holding him back. "It's ok."
He believed her because she didn't judge him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't wanna hear anymore exscuses." Paul replied rolling his eyes as he & Shaun finished speaking. "I wanna meet with him tomorrow."
He was tired of getting the run around dealing with trying to reach Marshall. The last time he'd seen him was the wedding he & Kim had & nothing else. That was understandable for awhile until he found out he'd split & left Kim high & dry. The honeymoon was far from over. Marshall had never done that before. She always left him & when he did initiate a break up, he'd always go right back. He hadn't even come to lay down any songs. Dre & Jimmy were waiting to get the last two albums done, not to mention they wanted to finish the European strtch of the tour they'd cancelled.. It was all he had left on their contract.
"Paul, I don't know what's up with him." "I'll get to the fuckin' bottom of it. I promise you that. Me you & the guys are gonna head over there again in the morning. I bet you he's still usin'."
"Even if he is....it never got to this point before. I think..." "I honestly don't care. He's fuckin' up for everybody & I'm not havin' it. It's time for him to come back to work."

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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:37 pm

Please leave some comments. What did u think? I was up late with this one. cheers queen
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sun Apr 26, 2009 3:26 pm

Yes! update! Very Happy
I can't wait what happens next. I hope you keep the updates coming. I really do like this story.
hopefully cindy & shaun can help marshall and find out why he is so desperate
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Apr 27, 2009 1:21 am

** “Daddy why’d you decide to put me & mommy in a video?” Haliie asked her father as she looked up to him. She wasn’t too far off from his size, but she had a few more years to get there. He shooed away the assistant that was trying to touch up his makeup & knelt down to her level.
“Because you and mommy mean the world to me.” He said as he looked up to Kim & smiled.
“What about Alaina & Whitney?”
“They’re everything to me too Hai, but this video is for us.” He knew that was the truth. That & Alaina’s mom would most likely protest & try to sue. At least that’s what his lawyers disputed. As for Whitney… that was a different story. One he wasn’t getting into, especially with his little girl.
Kim stared at Marshall & Hailie talk. She didn’t take Marshall’s words too seriously because he seemed to never mean it. How could he if he called her such horrible names every time they fought? Granted, ever since rehab he was trying extremely hard to make things work----they just weren’t the same in her book. Never would be.

Her cell phone vibrated and startled her.
“I have to go to the little girls’ room.” She replied getting up and jetting upstairs.
“I’m glad you & mommy are back together.” Hailie smiled brightly. They'd been living together for awhile & nobody really knew it. He even got another tattoo with her name on it. He was serious about making things work between them this time. Even while he was on tour, he was killing himself to fly home every night to tuck the girls in & snuggle in bed with Kim. Early on in his career she bitched & moaned about him supposedly leaving her alone with the kids. Granted, he was out touring, recording & doing interviews& much much more, but he brought her with him. Even after that, he had to stay & with the girls. He made it his business to have them taken care of. Kim was too busy being strung out, on the run or fuckin’ some other guy; even in rehab, which broke his heart because he was still in love with her.

“What’s up?” she inquired entering the room Marshall had changed his clothes in.
“I told you what we were doing today. The video.” She replied picking Marshall’s pants up off the floor & a bag with5 pills fell out of his pocket, along with the gold locket she & Hailie brought for him. Haillie was the one who actually begged her to get it. She grimaced as she picked up the bag & clutched it in her hand.
“I’ll call you back.” She spat angrily into the phone b4 hanging it up & slipping it into her pocket. She bolted from the room & jetted down the stairs. She stormed on set as they were filming. Hailie was sitting on the swing & Marshall was standing behind her, pushing her higher.
“You lying son of a bitch!!” she screamed Messing up their shot.
“Kim, what’s wrong?!” he yelled frantically in concern as Hailie abruptly stopped swinging.
“You’re what’s wrong!!” she screamed as she tossed the bag at him.
“You’re pathetic.” She sneered in his face as the camera crew stared on astonished & people snapped pictures as the camera man continued rolling.

He grabbed the bag as it hit his chest & looked up embarrassed.
“This isn’t mine.” He protested. “Fuck you Marshall.” She said stalking over to a clueless Hailie & grabbing her hand.
“Come on.”
“Where are we going?” “Home.” She replied pulling her along.
“You can’t just leave!!” Marshall shouted & she laughed.
“Watch me!!” she shouted as Hailie looked back.
“Kim I love you!! You can’t just do this to me!!” he nearly cried. He was embarrassed as all hell because everyone on call had been watching. He looked down & saw the locket. She’d dropped it. He picked it up & saw a picture of him & Hailie inside. He looked back up to see them disappear. **


Marshall opened his eyes slowly & groaned. His body was aching all over & he felt like shit. He searched the room & saw that he was alone. He panicked for a moment because he thought the events from the night before were just a dream. Just like the nightmare he just encountered with Kim walking out on him. He tried everything in his power, but it seemed like she found every little thing to pick at. At least that’s what he told himself. He knew it had to be the very thing that he was denying to himself. Everyone else but him seemed to see it.
He was relieved to say the least as he heard the shower running in the bathroom. He looked over at the clock & realized it was 9 in the morning. He’d slept for the first time in ages. Cyndi had sat up holding & caressing him as she told him about herself. She explained why she carried a gun. Her father took her to the range after getting her license to learn how to take out an enemy. He was worried for his little girl after she decided to go to MSU instead of Harvard. He was steamed to say the least. He wanted her to be safe. She also told him how she wanted to go to school for communications, but he wanted her to be a psychologist & she couldn’t dispute. The doorbell suddenly rang & Marsh opted to ignore it, but got up instead.

He lagged downstairs after dragging his aching body out of the bed. He took in a breath & opened the door. He froze immediately without saying a word.
“Didn’t expect to see me did ya?” Paul inquired pissed off as he pushed passed Marshall & walked in with the guys following him. Marshall gulped so hard that he thought he swallowed his Adam ’s Apple.
“I…” “Save it.” Paul replied turning to look at him.
“You are still usin’ again’.” He grumbled. Marshall was a bit red faced & so were his eyes, but it wasn’t from drugs. Well maybe a little. Marshall looked at all of their cold glares & it reminded him of a few months earlier when they forced him to get help. He knew that’s why they were there. His body was trembling & he was suddenly steaming & his legs seemed to be weak.
“Looks like we’re not doin’ the tour right away. Dre & Jimmy are gonna be pissed.” He replied walking up to Marshall.
“I’m callin’ the facility right now. You need to check in.”
“I’m not goin’” he protested looking up to Paul.
“Em we’re worried about you.” Shaun tried to reassure but he wasn’t hearing it. He began to panic once more as his mind raced uncontrollably. He felt cornered because he was.


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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Apr 27, 2009 1:26 am

Please leave feedback. Smile I love you cheers
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Apr 27, 2009 9:32 am

I like the flashback/dream
I'm so glad you keep posting new updates.
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Apr 30, 2009 3:09 am

Marshall’s breathing grew rapidly because he had grown fearful. Yet again he was alone & facing everything crumbling around him. He felt like everyone was staring at him like he was a pathetic loser. Hell, he already felt like one. He didn’t need the people he thought he could trust to drill it into him every chance they got. He just wanted to erase it & taking pills seemed to numb the pain --- but it didn’t last forever. For two reasons, it wore off & it was the reason his friends looked at him like a loser. He wasn’t just doing pills either. He dabbled on some heavy shit as well, although he hated to admit it. He couldn’t admit it. He wasn’t ready to.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He protested firmly, making Paul look up from his cell phone. He was in the process of looking for the rehab centers number. He’d stored a bunch of them a few months earlier when they’d put him in one.
“Oh, you’re goin’. If I gotta drag u out of here myself---you’re goin’.”
“I want all of y’all to leave. Now.” He said trying to be stern, but his voice was shaky because he was damn near trembling. No one obeyed his order; they just seemed to surround him. He peered around at them with nothing but trepidation in his eyes, but he stood his ground. He was petrified.
“I said get out!!” he shouted shoving Swift & he stumbled back.
“Em…” Paul warned as he stepped closer. “Chill out.”
“I will.” He replied stepping away from them. “As soon as…as soon as you guys leave.”
They stared at him & saw a totally different person from whom they knew. He knew they were thinking the most horrible things about him because it showed on their faces.
“Marsh…” he heard a voice ring from behind Kon & Biz. He peered closer as they parted ways & Nathan entered the semi-circle they’d made around him.
“You gotta go get some help.” He replied walking up to his older troubled some brother. He was afraid to lose him because their mother had gone down that road. They stared each other in the eye as Marshall bawled his hand into a tight fist. Without warning, he struck his little brother & watched him hit the floor with no remorse. Nate groaned as he held the right side of his jaw & looked up to his rage filled brother.

“You of all people have no right to tell me what I should do!!’ he shouted as Shaun grabbed him & pulled him to the door. Swift helped Nate of the floor & he looked at Marshall hurt & confused. His brother was acting as if he were a stranger.
“What the fuck?!!” Paul shouted as he stormed over to Marshall.
“You need to calm the fuck down!!” he shouted standing toe to toe with Marshall.
“Fuck you!!” he shouted shoving Paul as his heart did a dance. He took a huge gulp as he tried to keep himself from buckling. “Bro…we love you.” Nate interjected “But you need help.”
“Fuck you. You’re not my brother.” He spat looking over Paul’s shoulder to Nate.
Nate’s heart broke with those words. All he wanted was to see his brother get better.
“That’s it.” Paul said as they all tried to close in on him. “Let’s go.”
That was Paul’s last straw. He knew Marshall needed treatment because he’d never turned his back on his family. Ever. He needed Em to get back on his feet so they could get some work done for the label. He had to finish the tour.

Marshall was now fully in panic mode as Paul grabbed him. There was no way he was leaving without a fight.
“Get off of me!!” he shouted trying to get free, but Shaun had a grip on him as well. He thought of the facility they’d dropped him in before & gathered some strength. There was no way e was going back. He shoved Paul & darted towards the stairs after getting free from Shaun. They took off after him & for the life of them couldn’t understand why he was doing what he was doing. The last time they’d intervened on his situation, he’d willing went without hesitation or a fight. There was something definitely wrong with this picture.
“Whoa!!” Cyndi yelled extending both hands in front of her & they slowed just in time before pummeling her. Marshall stood behind her as if she were his shield---his protection.
“Who the hell are you?” Paul asked infuriated because it didn’t make sense to him. They’d talked about him marrying Kim. He swore that once they’d jumped over the broom that that would be it. They would be together forever & he would make it work no matter what. There would be no other. Hell, he refused to make her sign a pre-nup. He only believed him because this time he was sincere. He knew they were always off & on, but this time seemed different. So why was he here with some girl?
“Cyndi.” She replied still holding her hands up to keep them from getting to Marshall. She was dressed in one of Marshall’s over sized t shirts & a pair of his old small shorts that she’d found. When she jumped out of the shower, she’d heard tons of commotion downstairs & thought it had been the guy from the night before coming back for revenge, so she threw on her clothes & jetted downstairs in a flash. But she was wrong; dead wrong. It had been his very own friends like before. They were there expressing their concerns, but Marshall was taking it the wrong way it seemed.

“Look, this has nothing to do with you.” Paul assured. “Get out of my way.” He demanded rudely.
She felt Marshall shift uncomfortably behind her & knew he thought she was gonna do exactly what Paul had said. Everyone always did.
“No.” she said firmly & Paul grumbled frustrated as he looked at Marshall then at the guys. Marshall clutched Cyndi from behind & no one but her seemed to notice. She also felt him trembling.
“Who the hell is this floozy?” “Floozy?!” Cyndi yelled nearly blacking his eye, but she held her ground. “Yeah.” He sneered turning back o her. “Floozy.”
“You’re such a fuckin’ dick wad.” She snapped & everyone looked at her. People rarely spoke to him in that mannerism. Especially people who didn’t know him. He didn’t take it lightly.
His eyes widened as he thought of holding his tongue, but it didn’t work.
“None of this shit concerns you. Got it? You may have fucked him, but he’s married & you’re nothing but a groupie.” He smiled slightly.
“You see… maybe that would’ve hurt me had I slept with him.” She smiled cockily. “But since I didn’t, it means diddly squat. So before you open that meat hole of yours--- get your facts straight.”

Shaun glanced over to Marshall & saw he was using Cyndi as a clutch. He saw the same pain in his eyes as he had when his uncle Ronnie died. His friend was in a heap of trouble.
“You can say what you want but I know you’re fuckin’ him.”
“I bet you wish you were fuckin’ him.” She chuckled & he grimaced.
“Paul…” Shaun interjected pulling him to the side as Marshall eyed Nate for a moment.
“who the fuck is she?” Paul asked infuriated. “I don’t know. We just saw her yesterday.”
They spoke a few words & Paul walked out, but not before yelling:
“You better get your shit together Em!!”
“You guys can meet me outside.” Shaun replied to the boys. They obliged willingly. Nate however stared at his brother as he held his bruised jaw. He couldn’t believe he would do that to him.
“Marsh…we need you home.” He replied and Marshall ignored his request by simply running up the stairs. Cyndi just kept her eyes locked on Shaun as he approached her.

“I’m not in the mood to fight, but I will.”
“I’m not here to fight.” He said perfectly clear. “I’m here to help my best friend.”
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:08 am

This is soooo good.
Thanks, you made my day. can't wait for more. PLEASE update soon!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu May 07, 2009 11:22 pm

PLEASE update !!!
Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri May 08, 2009 2:31 am

This is dedicated to yellowbird because she is the only one to leave feedback recently. Smile Much thanks & appreciation.

"For some reason Marshall is clinging on to you for protection." he said through gritted teeth because he was frustrated by that fact.
"I don't know why---- but he is & I swear to God if you so much as hurt him or had anything to do with why he's actin' weird..."
"I don't." she protested standing her ground, but she understood his gripe with her. He was overly concerned for his friend.
"I'm only here because he needs someone here."
Hell, she wanted to tell him what had happened the night before with Marshall going on a suicide mission, then placing a gun to his head once that mission failed. But she couldn't. With the fragile mindstate he was in, he wouldn't understand. He already thought the world was against him & he was alone. He needed her.
"I get that. That's why I got rid of the crowd. But be straight with me." he sighed.
"What's goin' on with him?"
She sighed as she looked down breifly, then back up again. "I wish I knew."
"Bullshit!!" Shaun shouted. "He's my friend & I deserve to know!! Now tell me!!"
"You yelling is not gonna change the fact that I don't know!!" she shouted back.

Shaun stared her in the eyes & saw she was telling the truth.
"I met him a few days ago in the club ok? I gave him a ride home when they started shooting."
Shaun nodded as he thought of how Marshall got out of the club that night & it made sense.
"Ok. Take care of him, but if you find out anything or he gets....worse---you call me." he said jotting his number down on a piece of paper before handing it to her.
"I proise I will." she nodded. With that, Shaun turned & left. There was nothing else he could do & he knew it. But it ate at him.
Cyndi looked towards the stairs & sighed. There was a ton of damage control to be dealt with up there & she knew it. She hustled up the stairs, & into the bedroom to find it empty. There was no way she was gonna check the huge house for him.
"Marshall?" she inquired, but there was silence. She went over to the bathroom & knocked on the door. Still no answer. So she twisted the knob & pushed the door open.
"Oh my God!!" she yelled rushing into the room. She saw a pale looking Marshall on the bathroom floor & his nose was bleeding profusely. There was a small bag, which he gotten from Dust, lying beside him---the pills were scattered everywhere.

She fell to her knees beside him & cradled him a bit while grabbing for a towel. She placed it to his nose & wiped it gently.
"We need to get you to a hospital." she insisted & he shook his head in disaporaval just a bit.
God...just take me outta here. he thought as he looked up to Cyndi a bit. She looked around them at the pills on the floor, then looked back to him. "What did you take?" she asked concerned as he groaned in pain. His body was aching as the pills he took began to take effect. It was beginning to numb the pain & make it go away.
"I dunno." he managed to get out. "It hurts..." he groaned as he twisted a bit in her arms.
"Ok...just calm down. I'm gonna call an ambulance."
"No!!" he shouted & she saw the terror in his eyes again. For some reason he was scared of hospitials it seemed.
She was at a total loss because he was in a cold sweat, but he was burning up.
"Fuck..." she mumbled. She wasn' t a doctor so she couldn't say what was wrong. She was trying to be a psycologist.
"Just let me be..." he said closing his eyes but she shook him.
"Wake up!!" she demanded as he opened his eyes slightly. "How many did you take?!!"
"4....I think." he mumbled & she grumbled because there were different types of pills on the floor. There was no telling which ones he ingested.

She had to find a soulution & quick.

Leave feedback please. I know it's short but it's reallllllllllly late & I'm tired. I tried. Smile queen king
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri May 08, 2009 11:53 am

awww.... thanks. Smile
I really do love this story. the dialog between shaun and cindy was great.
damn... can't wait to find out what happends next... what will cindy do?!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri May 08, 2009 2:43 pm

update coming soon. Smile cheers
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat May 09, 2009 2:42 am

Cyndi paced back & forth as she held the phone to her ear. She looked over to Marshall who was now barely moving on the bed. He was thriving in pain for a few moments, but it slowed down, then ceased. He was taking long hard breaths & Cyndi was scared out f her mind. She'd struggled to get him to the bed & once she did, she laid him down & placed a warm rag on his head.
"Hello?" she heard a female finally answer after just three rings.
"Mom!!" she said frantically stopping as a bit of relief washed over her. Her mother would definietly know what to do seeing as how she was a doctor.
She had no other choicde but to ask her.
"Jesus, what's wrong?" her mother shouted into the phone. "Are you ok?!!"
"I'm ok...I just need your help." she replied looking over at Marshall.
"What kind of help?" she asked concerned & Cyndi knew she was gripping the phone.
"My friend..." she replied not really wanting to tell her because her parents were always overreacting.
"He's really sick." "He? Are you dating him?!"
"No mom..just listen please."
She heard her mother take a breath then reply. "Fine. What's wrong with him?"
"He took a bunch of pills & I don't know what they were."

"Pills?!! How is this person your friend?" her mother seemed to nearly cry. "You are dating him aren't you?"
"Mom please ok?! He might be dying!!" Cyndi shouted infuriated.
"Ok...ok. What do the pills look like?"
"there's one small one...it's round & has some funny picture imprinted on it." she replied examining the many pills in her hand.
"Ok, that one's a Ecatasy pill. What's the next one look like?"
"There's a medium one that's sorta oval & off white..." "Valium...next?"
"There are 2 different blue ones. One's shaped like the last one I described & the other one is shaped like an Ecstasy pill."
"Ok...honey, there's no time to go through this ok? You have to get you're friend to a hospital. RIGHT NOW."
Her tone was stern & Cyndi knew that meant trouble. They hadn't even gotten down to the last pills in her hand.
"That's just it...He doesn't wanna go to a hospital." she replied watching Marshall squirm a bit on the bed, knocking the rag off his head.
"Cyndi listen to me." her mother said clearly. "If you don't get him to a hospital right away, he--is going--to die. The last two pills you described were methadone. If he took those... that will kill your friend quickly."
After hearing those words, Cyndi clutched her cell phone & rushed over to Marshall. She wasn't about to let him die on her.

"Find his pulse & tell me how it feels."
Cyndi sat beside him & grabbed his wrist quickly. She felt for his pulse & almost didn't find it.
"It's faint mom." she said frantically.
"Is he still sweating cold sweat?" "Yeah, but he has a really bad fever."
"Get him to a hospital now baby & call me back ok?"
"Yeah." she said "I luv you mom."
"I love you too sweetie."
Cyndi closed her cell phone & grabbed the rag on the bed. She placed it on his head & he opened his eyes as he clutched her left hand tight.
He was weaving in & out of conciousness & was afraid of being alone if it were his last moments. He always thought he would be surrounded by his family & friends.
"Marshall I'm gonna call an ambulance..." "No." he tried to yell but it only came out s a whisper.
"I'm sorry but I have to." she said caressing his head gently. "If I don't..."
"I wanna die." he said softly as he closed his eyes. Her heart began pounding tremendously fast because she was afraid of that.
Why did he wanna die so bad? His life counldn't have been so bad. Hell, he had everything at his finger tips.
The house, a wife, 3 kids, the huge celebrity career---what more could he want?
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