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 Secrets Of The Heart

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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:05 pm

I will cheers thank u for joining and replying bounce
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Tue Jun 28, 2011 5:09 pm

Have not 4gotten about this story, I am working on an update cheers
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:09 pm

Admin wrote:
Have not 4gotten about this story, I am working on an update cheers

cheers That's great, I'll read it and write you something!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Wed Jun 29, 2011 6:01 pm

Dropping her keys on the table near the front door, Cyndi took her coat off. She felt good about the midterm she’d just taken. All the answer just seemed to flow from her instantly. There was no doubt that she passed. But she couldn’t stop thinking about one thing.

Marshall.

God, leaving him alone had killed her, especially since he’d damn near died in her arms. Thank God her mother had taught her the basic medical procedures to get someone breathing again. But it was damn sure more touch than go. She knew it hadn’t just been her that got him breathing again because she had given up. Shaking the heavy thought off, she shivered before running upstairs. How had she fallen for him so hard?
She knew how.

Trying so hard not to fall for him had ultimately been her downfall.

If she was any other sane person, she would’ve run for the hills with everything they’d been through. From the day they met, he was an outright dick. Yes, a D-I-C-K. Dick. But the thing about Marshall was he had depth. Behind that cold hard exterior was a cracked, bruised soul. And it took trust and time to figure that out. Hell, he wasn’t one to trust anyone, but if you took the time, he’d let you in. Although she had yet to know why he was acting so impetuous, she stuck by him.
Hustling upstairs, she saw the bedroom door open and clothes everywhere. It was as if the room had been ransacked. Her mind immediately shot to his drug dealer. After what Marshall had done to him, he could have come back for revenge.

“Marshall?!” she asked a bit panicked as she ran towards the bathroom, only to see that it was empty. By now, her heart was trying to rip through her rib cage from fear. Every part of her feared the worst.

“Baby please, answer me!” she shouted running from the room and down the hall, checking damn near every room.

Her mind immediately envisioned him lying somewhere in his own blood or just the way she’d found him the night before. But she felt like this time she was going to be too late. If anything had happened to him, it was going to be her fault. She was going to blame herself for leaving him all alone, unattended. How much of a horrible person could she be to leave him like that??
Yeah, she still had her life to deal with, but this was somebody who had been knocking on heaven’s door.
“Marshall?!” she screamed jetting back down the stairs but there was nothing but silence.
Tears were now rolling endlessly down her cheeks as she suddenly heard noise in the kitchen. Running through the doors without thinking, she was stunned and a bit relieved to see Shaun. He stopped abruptly, before closing Marshall’s cabinets. The look on his face could only be described as enraged.

“You were here all this time and you knew he was taking these.” He said chucking a bag onto the kitchen counter. It was obviously a bag of pills Marshall had been hiding.

“I knew he was an addict yeah.” She agreed, “But I NEVER watched him take anything.”

“But you didn’t stop him either did you?!’ Shaun yelled making her jump.

“Shaun—”

Don’t fuckin’ call me that. We are not friends and I don’t know you.”

“Fine.” she snapped. “But where is Marshall?”

Scoffing, he replied, “Getting the real help he deserves.”

“Tell me where he is Shaun.” She pleaded.

“Not a chance.”

“Tell me where he is!!” She screamed.

There was no time to be going back and forth with him. Marshall was in no condition to be up and about, so if he knew where he was he’d better spill.

“Fuck off!” Shaun shouted. “You had him in here hooked up to some shit—”

“Shaun, you don’t understand.”

And the truth was he really didn’t understand. The IV’s were only there to help Marshall. Not hurt him. She wasn’t in the business on enabling him. She hated the downward spiral he was on, but as a psychologist in training, she knew you couldn’t force an addict to get clean. You had to wait until they were ready or they were just gonna relapse.

“Save it, ‘cause you're never gonna see him again.” He made perfectly clear as he turned and walked out of the kitchen door.

Cyndi immediately followed him. There was no way she was letting him get away that easily.
He had been rummaging through Marshall’s things, and looking for his stashes of pills that he knew Marshall hid throughout the house. He’d found a few things and bagged them up. Now he’d have a list to give the rehab center.

“Shaun, please. Is he alright?”

“What do you care?!” he shouted. “You weren’t here taking care of him!.”

“I resent that! I was the only one here taking care of him!” she shouted frustrated.


“You know what? It doesn’t even matter anymore. When he gets back here—sober” he made perfectly clear. “He’s gonna kick your ass out.” he smiled smugly as he went towards the driveway where his car was sitting.
He got in and started the car.

“Shaun, don’t do this. Please tell me where he is.” She pleaded standing helplessly by his car.

“Just make this easier and disappear.” Shaun insisted through gritted teeth.

“See this is why he doesn’t trust you guys. You do irrational things that you think are right and I get it.” She began to cry.

“He’s your best friend and you want what’s best for him, but this isn’t it.”

A nagging pain in Shaun’s gut wanted him to believe her, but he didn’t trust her. Since she’d come around things had gotten drastically worse with Marshall. He’d jumped off the deep end long ago and had been drifting to sea damn near drowning.

“You know nothing.” He said going to pull off.

“You're going to kill him.” She cried hoping he’d finally think rationally and talk to her.

Taking a hard breath, Shaun ignored her and pulled off.

“He sick Shaun!!” she screamed, knowing he’d heard her, but he didn’t stop.

“Fuck…” she mumbled defeated. What was she going to do now??
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Nate opened the door and saw Marshall still curled in the same position they’d left him in. They’d been on the jet for nearly two hours and Marshall had barely moved an inch.

“Marsh?” Nate asked walking into the tiny bedroom.
After a moment of no answering, Nate walked over and knelt to him.

“Em? Em you ok?”

Fluttering his eyes and trying hard to open them, he finally answered.

“Ronnie?” he asked faintly and Nate shot to his feet.

“Paul!!” he screamed jetting to the door. “Paul get in here now!!”

After waiting for a second, Paul was standing in front of him.

“Yeah?”

“Something’s wrong with my brother.” He stressed.

“Yeah, that’s why we’re takin’ him to get help.”

“No—I mean he’s like sick or something.” Nate replied worried.

“Nate—it’s called withdrawal. I’m sorry you have to see him like this but--”

“Paul, he hasn’t moved an inch since the ride started. Isn’t he supposed to at least toss and turn or something??” Nate stressed.

“Nate…” Paul said frustrated.

“He just called me Ronnie.” Nate said blatantly.

“Look,” Paul said shaking his head. “This is why I didn’t want you guys to come. His recovery is going to be hard, and this is just the first stage.” Paul said harshly as he walked away.

Nate sighed as he turned back to his brother.

“Marsh?” he asked kneeling to him.

“Ronnie.” Marshall mumbled, this time not opening his eyes. “I’m ready.” He whispered.

“No, no. No!” Nate replied grabbing him by the face and shaking him a bit.

“Open your eyes Marsh! You are not leaving…”

“She left me.” Marshall mumbled as tears finally rolled down his cheeks.
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Jun 30, 2011 3:23 am

Aw yes finally an update! Thanks so much! I so needed to read this.
Hope more updates come! Poor Marshall ;[


I'm sorry 4 the delay on this one. I've just been doing so much that this story fell behind. Sad I'll try my best to keep updating as much as possible cheers Thanks 4 ur reply. I really appreciate it.
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Jun 30, 2011 6:07 pm

Great update cheers I hope there will be more soon Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Jul 01, 2011 12:04 pm

Thank u both for replying and there will be an update very soon. bounce
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:22 pm

Heyyyyyyy! lol i feel weird, i'm new here.
I love the story so much. And I love the way you write. Like seriously, you should write 29487289489 fanfics. Can't wait for update. Smile
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PostSubject: Thanks   Thu Jul 28, 2011 10:07 am

Thanks for joining the website. Glad u like the Admin's fiction.
Check out her other ones in this forum as well as check out the rest of this wonderful website.
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Jul 28, 2011 6:13 pm

iHitRockBottom wrote:
Heyyyyyyy! lol i feel weird, i'm new here.
I love the story so much. And I love the way you write. Like seriously, you should write 29487289489 fanfics. Can't wait for update. Smile

Aww ty I really appreciate the feedback and I will update soon. Dont feel weird, feedback is great lol cheers Dont be afraid 2 post a story of ur own if u want Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:05 pm

This story is AMAZING!!!! please update soon Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sun Jul 31, 2011 7:32 am

Waiting for an update to come soon. Smile
Btw I like the little makeover the forum now has. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Thank You.   Mon Aug 01, 2011 10:28 am

Why thank you glad u guys like the makeover!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:05 pm

Sorry 4 the delays but updates will be coming soon guys. Please bear with me cheers
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Aug 05, 2011 7:37 am

I love your story! Great job!!!! Can't wait for more!!!! bounce
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Wed Oct 05, 2011 2:36 pm

Oh my my my how I having neglected my baby (this story) An update will be soon. I truly apologize 4 all my delays Sad Please bare with me....
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sun Oct 16, 2011 1:19 am

Passinq by . (:
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PostSubject: New to this site, but in love with this story.   Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:51 am

I absolutely love this story. I have never read one like it before and I find myself wanting to sit her and stare at the screen until you decide to update. I hope that is soon. You are an amazing author and I appreciate the fact that you take time out of your day to write this story. Can't wait for this to be updated. lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:04 pm

An update is in the works thanks for joining and commenting our lovely Admin will be pleased to see wonderful comments. In the mean time while u wait for an update please take a look at the rest of the website. Anything dealing with Eminem you will find it here 1st. Thanks again!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:31 pm

Update coming by this weekend Cool
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:30 pm

Not knowing what else to do, Cyndi sulked as she had done for the past few days. There was no way of knowing where Marshall’s friends had taken him. But that didn’t mean she hadn’t tried. After three days of searching every rehab center or hospital close by, she’d faltered in faith of finding him alone. There was no doubt in her mind that she needed help searching for him. But there was no way she was calling her mother or father. They would’ve never understood her gripe. Knowing her parents, they would’ve dragged her on the first flight home kicking and screaming. Because there was no way she was leaving Michigan without knowing Marshall was alright.

A knock at the door downstairs startled her. Without hesitating, she sprung up from Marshall’s bed and jetted through the hallway. The stairs were a breeze for her even though there were enough to get her a bit winded. She never faltered because in heart she knew it had to be Shaun bringing Marshall home. Exactly where he belonged. Looking through the peephole, she saw Shaun standing there and a smile swept over her face. All she could think was “he’d finally come to his senses”. So without further hesitation, she opened it. Thing was—Shaun wasn’t the only person at the door. He was standing there with a guy in a pen stripped suit. She knew that look all too well. Jonathan had continuously worn it to court.

The guy was undoubtedly a lawyer.

“Shaun—”

“Save it. I knew you’d still be here.” He scoffed angrily as he barged his way pass her. The well dressed guy of course followed.

Swallowing hard, she turned to both of them after closing the front door.

“I’m just worried about him.” She snapped.

“I said save it!” Shaun ground out. He was obviously as stressed as she was because his face had worry lines that went on for days.

“Don’t you dare yell at me! You have no right to talk to me like that.” She demanded.

There was no way she was letting anyone shove her around. She wasn’t some push over. Especially not to Marshall’s stubborn friends who always pushed him to hard. They pushed him so hard that he finally cracked. And the sad part was—they didn’t even care. No one asked why he was acting out and the fact was— she didn’t know either. As much as she tried to get him to open up—the moment he tried he immediately shut down. His heart and mind was obviously burdened with angst. Something was so unbearable to him that he couldn’t bear to face reality.

He shoved it deep down and buried it behind the pills and self loathing. And the more he loathed…the more he indulged in drugs. And the more he indulged in drugs, the more he lost himself.

He’d lost himself so much that he’d begun to lose the will to live.

Watching that had broken her heart and she’d walked in on the worst part. She never got to know any other part of him. The happy, shy Marshall he could be. Or the persistent workaholic perfectionist that drove what was his career. No, all she got to know was the broken shell of the man that once was. But fact was that didn’t stop her.

Through everything she stuck to him like glue.

Seeing though the bitter male he’d portrayed wasn’t easy, but she’d done it. So much so that he clung to her for fortification and she’d stuck by him. Even at his darkest hours. There had already been things that made her cringe at the thought, but that was why it was so hard for her to just give up now. Especially since he’d discovered he was sick. That made things a bit more complicated.

“Look, I didn’t come here to argue.” Shaun mumbled looking at her evilly.

“Then why are you here? Are you gonna tell me where he is?” she insisted.

Shaking his head, he refused to compromise with her.

“No. We’re here to get you to sign some papers.” The guy in the suit replied as he placed the suitcase on the table and opened it.

“I’m not signing a God damn thing.” She scoffed as she took off and hustled upstairs.

“Do you want me to get the authorities involved?” the guy in the suit inquired.

“No, I’ll handle this Dennis.” He replied grabbing the papers from him and going after her.

Once upstairs, he peeked into Marshall’s room only to see her sitting on the bed looking at the floor. Nudging the door open, she jolted upright and wiped her tears away. There was no way she was letting him see her weak, but it was too late. He wasn’t gonna acknowledge her tears, but he’d definitely noticed them.

“Would you please just go? I get it ok? You’re not gonna tell me where he is—”

“He needs help and if you can’t see that then we’ll never see eye to eye.” He snapped.

“That’s where you're wrong. I know he needs help. But I also know that you can’t force him to get it. [/i]He[/i] has to be ready. Not everyone else.”

Shaun stood quiet as he gripped the papers in his hand because he knew what she said was right.

“Why’d you let him nearly kill himself?!” he yelled because he truly didn’t understand.

The girl in front of him seemed to genuinely care about his best friend every time they talked, but the things he thought he saw had portrayed a different story. Especially the way they found him the day the carted him off to rehab. He was in such bad shape—and he wasn’t getting any better.

“I’m not fighting with you. I did everything I could to keep him as safe as I could. But there was only so much I could do.” She sniffled as she tried to hold back the tears burning her eyes.

“I don’t wanna hear that.” Shaun replied changing the subject again because he was starting to feel sympathy for her. He was starting to believe her.

“Then why are you here? Because if it’s to bully me I assure you it won’t work. Your friend in the suit downstairs doesn’t scare me and I’m not leaving against my will. Marshall wanted and had me here on his own free will—”

“Slow your roll.” Shaun ordered.

He showed her no emotions, but inside he was smiling. If he’d met this girl on any other circumstances he would’ve loved her to hang out with Marshall.

The real Marshall.

Clear headed, the keep to himself jokester that had vanished. It seemed like it had been forever since he’d actually hung out with his best friend. Shaking the thoughts off, he got back to the task at hand.

“I only came by to get you to sign these.” He replied holding up the papers.

“And what are those” she sneered.

“Order of Privacy.” He simply said handing her the papers to read, but she didn’t.

“I’m not signing anything.” She snapped offended.

“See I know you didn’t give two shits about Em—”

“Why?! Because you say so?? Who made you the ‘King of the Truth’?” she mocked.

She was definitely a fire cracker and he liked that about her. But not right now. His best friends’ life had been in danger and only she was there to know why. He couldn’t risk her blabbing to the tabloids and paparazzi or any outlet that would listen. They’ve learned that mistake to many times before.

“Your actions prove it.”

“Really? You’ve insulted me enough tonight so I’m done.” She snapped.

“Just sign the papers and I’ll go.”

“No.” she protested.

“I can do this all night.” Shaun warned.

“So could I.” she replied crossing her arms over her chest and he sighed before grumbling. He was becoming fed up.

“Look, it’s for Marshall. Just for his own protection…”

“You really think I’d betray him like that huh?” she scoffed.

“Can you blame me? His own wife sold him out a few times because they have a shitty relationship. His body guard—hell his own mother! He’s worth riches and everyone’s looking to cash in any way they can.” He leveled with her.

Biting her lower lip she listened and finally got where he was coming from. Unlike anyone else Marshall knew, Shaun seemed to truly care about his best friend. And that was definitely something they both had in common.

“You saw him like nobody else has…more than once. I just—I need to know he’s gonna be ok once he recovers. That this won’t be plastered everywhere for the world to see and to ridicule him for.” He said truthfully.

“Fine.” Cyndi folded. “Gimme a pen.”

Relieved she agreed, he willingly handed her a pen he had. Without another thought, she signed her name and handed the papers back.

“Thank you.” He replied turning to leave.

“I didn’t sign those for you, I signed those for Marshall.” She made clear.

“How is he?” she pressed and Shaun sighed. After she signed the papers, he could atleast tell her his status.

“He’s—fighting.” He mumbled and she frowned. That didn’t sound too good.

“Look I know you don’t believe me but Shaun please call his doctor.” She pleaded.

Shaun scoffed as he started to walk from the room.

“You don’t know his doctor.” He sneered.

“Dr. Schneider will tell you what he told me!” she called and he stopped briefly and swallowed hard.

There was no way she was bullshitting him because no one knew Dr. Schneider. That was Marshall’s personal doctor and he hadn’t seen him since the tour ended. He was the only one who knew he was seeing Dr. Schneider for his “problems”.

Instead of asking more questions, he left.

"Do we have to serve her with the other papers?" Dennis asked because they'd brought a court order just in case.

"No. Let's just go."
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:21 am

oh my god. thank you soooo much for the update! <3 i really hope Shaun starts trusting Cindy. Ok this story is one of the best stories I HAVE EVER read and I read a lot of books so this is saying something lol. you are just an amazing writer with a great story line. But most importantly, you understand Em's personality reallllly well and that's the biggest thing cause there are fanfics that you are just like wtf Em would never do something like that, but here everything is so accurate to his personality (at least what we know about him through his music) and what he had said in interviews about that time period. So that's the best thing about your stories. Like I said thanks so much for the update but PLEASE update more often, cause I honostly cannot wait another six months to see what happens to Marshall. Like I actually really wanna know I think about whats gonna happen to him alot lol. I've read this so many times. (: <3 Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:31 am

(this is actually by me, I had forgotten to log in sorrry hahah)
oh my god. thank you soooo much for the update! <3 i really hope Shaun starts trusting Cindy. Ok this story is one of the best stories I HAVE EVER read and I read a lot of books so this is saying something lol. you are just an amazing writer with a great story line. But most importantly, you understand Em's personality reallllly well and that's the biggest thing cause there are fanfics that you are just like wtf Em would never do something like that, but here everything is so accurate to his personality (at least what we know about him through his music) and what he had said in interviews about that time period. So that's the best thing about your stories. Like I said thanks so much for the update but PLEASE update more often, cause I honostly cannot wait another six months to see what happens to Marshall. Like I actually really wanna know I think about whats gonna happen to him alot lol. I've read this so many times. (: <3
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:44 pm

OMG thank you so much 4 ur remark. I appreciate it a ton and thats what I try 2 do. When writing an Em fic I try 2 stay true to his character. Even though it's fiction, it feels so real lol. I will def update very soon 4 u. cheers I love you
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:15 pm

Please update!!
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:55 am

Please please update! I love this story! You are an amazing writer (:
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:17 pm

Please update again, I love this one so much! (:
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PostSubject: Re: Secrets Of The Heart   Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:03 am

I really think you need to carry on with this its so good and i'm actually re-reading this because I read it in September, but goddam it it's so amazing people love your writing us fans want another fix Shocked
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